Thursday, September 29, 2005

Eighth Celebrity Crush

I would be remiss if I did not mention Adam Brody of "The O.C." While this show has gone so sadly downhill that I now only watch it when my husband is not home,* and Seth Cohen's self-centeredness has crossed the line into parody, I still remember the Seth of Season One--particularly his awkward delight at Summer's sudden and inexplicable lust--the Seth of the Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve episodes. And I still love that Seth.

*Only a really good show is worth that kind of ceaseless eye-rolling.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Seven Things Meme

7 things I want to do before I die:
1) Sing solo in public again
2) Learn to surf
3) See Paris
4) Publish a novel
5) Have grandchildren
6) Drive cross-country
7) Become an authority on something

7 things I can do:
1) Write a good thank-you note
2) Sight-read show tunes on the piano
3) Read really fast
4) Make dinner out of whatever's on hand
5) Find and buy a black-tie dress that fits in under 30 minutes (recently tested)
6) Remember obscure and useless facts about movies I have not seen
7) Make (and in some cases pack) five breakfasts, three lunches, one snack and two caffe lattes, pack two backpacks and comb three heads of hair between 6:45 and 7:30

7 things I cannot do:
1) Whistle
2) Remember the rules of card games
3) Hit a ball of any kind with a stick of any kind
4) Lie without blushing
5) Sleep sitting up
6) Control my tone of voice
7) Notice how, in item 7 above, I did not comb my own hair? A sadly regular occurrence.

7 things I say most often:
1) You may not speak to your brother (sister) that way.
2) Two things:
3) No.
4) Fine.
5) Actually...
6) I'm sure you will not be surprised to learn that...
7) You must be high.

Celebrity crushes:
1) Vincent D'Onofrio
2) Andrew McCarthy
3) Hugh Grant
4) William Hurt
5) Colin Firth
6) John Cusack
7) (new) Jason Lee

Friday, September 23, 2005

Laughing, and I swear not at Finslippy's expense

"Last night, at 11:30, after an hour of vigorous denial over the goings-on near Henry’s room, I realized that all was quiet and went to check things out. I found Scott sleeping on the floor of Henry’s room while Henry, fully upright and alert, chatted with his father’s inert form. “Darth Vader goes whoosh and the Storm Trooper turns him into Darth Vader and when I’m at the playground I go whoosh down the slide but sometimes I fall and I get a little scrape but I’m okay,” he said as his father snored lightly against the carpeting."

I have so been there, in so many ways.

Equal Time

Because S. was the only one who didn't get a spot two posts ago, I just wanted to mention that she is currently entranced with a big brick building on the highway labeled "Chapel Hill Dental Arts." Every time we drive buy she chuckles deeply and delightedly announces "Dental Arts!" Then there is some speculation about what kind of scrimshaw-like arts are practiced inside.

An Exercise

From Dawn--


1. Go into your archive.

2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).

3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).

4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

With the Coach-Families! From Been a Long Lonely, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely, Lonely Time.

Things My Family Has Said To Me Lately

Not-so-little-R: (after hearing on NPR that "Curb Your Enthusiasm" begins its fifth season tonight) Wow! "Transformers" is in its fifth season too!

Not-so-big-R: Hey, I like the new, non-stained throw pillows.

MomVee: M., why are you putting on your pajamas at 3 o'clock in the afternoon?
M: (with a look of infinite patience) They're my pretend soccer uniform.

Thursday, September 15, 2005


Ergo's Guy is calling her Dr. This and Dr. That.

Not-so-big-R. never calls me Master. Ever.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Some things I know...

...about covering books with clear Contac paper:

1. No matter how beautifully you mitre the corners, your child's teacher will not send a congratulatory note home or mention it to you at Back To School Night.

2. When you find a store that has clear Contac paper, go ahead and buy four large rolls. You will use them--if not this year, then next year. Making multiple Contac runs throughout September stinks.

3. Practice makes perfect. Or at least better.

4. Yes, that is another damned book. Try to remember it is not your child's fault. You want your child to have schoolbooks. The school does not want them to fall apart. Be zenlike in your acceptance of the ongoing Contac task.

5. Once covered, books with textured surfaces look better than glossy ones.

6. Don't bother to smooth out the little bubbles, etc. No one cares.

7. You will eventually be finished with this job. Until next year.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

More pharmacy hell...but with a happy ending

So I went to Walgreens and asked the robot pharmacist, "Do you sell sharps disposal containers?"
"Do you sell the red containers for putting used needles in?"
The human pharmacist leans out from farther down the counter, catches my eye, and shakes her head no. "Thank you," I say to the human pharmacist, while the robot pharmacist says, "Take them to the hospital."
"She wants a container," the human pharmacist explains as I walk away.

Next I tried the mom and pop pharmacy. "Do you sell sharps disposal containers?"
"Just a second."
"I'm sorry, we're just out of them. Do you have to have it today?"
"No, but as long as you're going to reorder, I want three."
"Okay. We'll have them tomorrow. Let me get your name and number..."
When we were all done she said, "Don't run all over looking for something. Just call us. We can always get it for you."

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

And you may ask did I get here?

Well, for one guy it was a search on French Yahoo for "voiture ballai"

And someone in the UK was looking for stuff about sheep on Technorati.

Why do I feel they were both disappointed?


Q: What's the difference between a Rolling Stone and a Scottish sheep farmer?

A: The Rolling Stone says, "Hey you, get off of my cloud!" The farmer says, "Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe!"

Monday, September 05, 2005

Here's what's running through my head

I've always loved this song, but right now it is so eerily apt. Especially President Coolidge and his emotionally detached comment.

Louisiana 1927
Randy Newman

What has happened down here is the wind have changed
Clouds roll in from the north and it started to rain
Rained real hard and rained for a real long time
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline

The river rose all day
The river rose all night
Some people got lost in the flood
Some people got away alright
The river have busted through clear down to Plaquemines
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline

Louisiana, Louisiana
They're tyrin' to wash us away
They're tryin' to wash us away
Louisiana, Louisiana
They're tryin' to wash us away
They're tryin' to wash us away

President Coolidge came down in a railroad train
With a little fat man with a note-pad in his hand
The President say, "Little fat man isn't it a shame what the river has
To this poor cracker's land."